Does anyone remember that 1980s hit called ‘Ain’t Nothin’ Goin’ But The Rent’? One of its famous lines states,“You got to have a J-O-B if you wanna be with me”.
In the song, Gwen Guthrie (the singer) explains that there’s no romance without finance, and that a ‘fly girl’ like her needs financial security because she has rent and bills to think about.
I heard that song in a market stall recently, and a friend and I simultaneously burst into song, repeating Guthrie’s words while prompting the stall owner to laugh out loud.
Maybe it was because our singing was so bad, but I think the stall owner, who was male, was more taken by the words we were repeating as though giving a warning to jobless males to stay away from us!
Remember the song ‘No Scrubs’ by TLC? Now that feisty female trio had a serious definition of what a ‘scrub’ was – that is, a grown man who still lives at home, who doesn’t have a car and gets driven around by his friends, and so on. In the song, the girls say that they absolutely do not want to be associated with such males.
And really, what they are saying is exactly what the first song states, ie. that a man without material wealth is not worth a second look.
I tend to have a problem with that train of thought, especially among women who are waiting to be taken care of as though they do not have a pair of productive hands to do something with! Complete dependency upon anyone, from your parents to your friends to your man, isn’t right. A person always needs to have something going on for themselves, no matter how small, in order to feel that personal sense of fulfillment and self-pride.
But let’s look at a group of women like TLC – young, attractive, fearless and filthy rich at the time!!! Far from having a dependency syndrome, they were actually very independent women.
So could a relationship between such women and the so-called ‘scrub’ actually work out?
Mmm. Tricky one. Because, and I am sure we all know this, relationships aren’t all about love. Many couples fight continuously over their finances and some seemingly loving unions even come to an end because of cash issues.
Those who believe in evolution state that over the ages, our species has shown a constant drive towards survival which entails females and male seeking out partners who will bear them viable offspring. Before money came along, viability of the male was gauged by his physical strength, his ability to hunt and supply enough food, and other such factors.
Today, it would seem that the markers of a male’s viability have changed significantly. If a man has enough money – as shown by the clothes he wears, the car he drives, the places he dines, the suburb he lives in, etc – this will definitely work in his favour in getting a woman’s attention.
Because ultimately, we are all looking for suitors with whom we can be assured of security, not only in terms of affection, but also in terms of the finer things in life.
Marilyn Monroe did sing that diamonds were a girl’s best friend!
But hang on. I am not going to go with this argument all the way.
I believe there is a difference between wanting the best for your future and being a plain and shameless gold digger.
Kanye West and Jamie Foxx said it when they sang that a gold digger is a trifling friend who takes all a man’s money, even when he is need.
Yes, my brothers, beware of such as those!
Having a flashy Merc or a house on the hills will not guarantee happiness. Yes, it will guarantee comfort. But happiness is something more intimate, something about finding the right person and loving them regardless of what social standards dictate.
And who is to say that the guy you look at now – jobless and penniless – will not eventually make something of their financial life?
Look more at the heart, than the wallet, I say.
The latest i-Phone for a birthday gift – $ 1 000
Shopping trip to Italy – $10 00
Finding your soul mate – PRICELESS!!!